The point where a thought of you or seeing your name doesn’t make me happy at all. It makes me sad and angry. Such a cold thing I suffered that I’ve become cold myself the result of it. I have no motive of being happy or content anymore. I can only be better and take a piece of this cold with me. A bitter reminder of struggle and pain. There’s no more reasoning in past events to me. Soon they won’t exist.

I just got off the phone with my sister and she said my brother-in-law’s company, which is a large company in Philadelphia, wanted to make me an offer for a position. Because of how I good I was at the interview and how well my resume showed my character, this company is coming to me! ha! So I might be moving back to Jersey in the next month or two. Pray I don’t see that girl however. Breaks my heart every time I do.

Almost texted you just now. “goodmorning wonderful beautiful amazing lady… I miss you… This and that…” I wrote a lot! Guess this one is going to sit in draft folder hell for the rest of its life… I miss you :\

Idk how much longer I can fight this urge… Just one text

I don’t want to think about this right now, I don’t want to think about it ever… But I think about it all the time :(

Yup torture. I watch others move on while I’m still stuck on a love I can retrieve